The Cycle

If I knew how I would
stop the cycle I continually churn
the horrible way in which I crush
the love I thought I held so softly.
I would break this chain of events that
leave me weeping alone and empty...
and those who I had pained would understand
the way in which I am lost.

If I knew how I would
protect their hearts and
hold back mine from giving more
than I can afford to bear.
I would undo the thoughts that wrap
me up, and give back dignity to
the relationships I have so easy broken,
the people I have had to let go.

If I knew how I would
erase my memory, forget the
past and keep it from haunting me
daily, I am struggling and sad.
I would be free from the haunting of
those things I cannot undo,
the heartache, I can never break free.
It sits, destroying me.

If I knew how I would
escape, I would run forever,
never to give again. But my heart
doesn't know how to stop needing
so instead a find a new hole to
dig myself in deeper. If I could
I would live alone, content, never
worrying about hurting another,
never hurting.