Today I Rise.

Part I

Scorching from within, lingering
ashes of my heart, stale,
red, and black broken
pieces of my soul laying
around me puddled
in the tears of my longing.
And I wish it was the white
flame of my
forgiveness, of my
hope of my
surrender...
but it is the decrepit,
discarded waste of my
soul, the evil I was born with.
I am helpless, hopeless,
and selfish. I am not
satisfied, and as the wind
flies away from me without a
single flutter or glance back
I close my eyes in shame and
remorse and yet I still wait,
sinking, drudging in the muck
of my sins. I still lie awake,
cold, shivering... feeling the needles
on my skin, wondering
how different they would feel
if the prickling were that
of spiders crawling up my body.
Sadly, it is just my mind uneasy...
draining my light, playing with my emotions,
laughing in the darkness.

Part II

And then suddenly I am freed
and I see past my longing,
I see past my worry
and sadness and I realize all
that I have done is wrong. All
that I have done is from weakness
and I am guilty.
I am mourning
now in pity, realizing
how blind I have become.
And no matter how I try
to stop the slow piercing
of each inch of my heart,
my bleeding heart...
my crying heart.
My emotional mess of a
being is shaking,
alone in my own
despair. How beautiful
and ugly. I sit in my hole,
I wonder...
How much does he love
to see me whither and waver
and how much does he despise
to watch me gain composer.

Part III

Today is the day I stand.
Today is the day I cry freedom.
I will show him, now.
He is not my ally,
he is not my escape.
He is my enemy.

And I shall love the Lord my
God will all my heart.
He will make my paths straight
and I will do right to please him.

No longer will I fall down only to
beg in the hopes of help,
but I will get back up knowing He is
already within me.

How much does He watch over
me waiting for me, waiting
to see me smile and take
His mercy. How much does He rejoice
in my acceptance of his hand.
Today I will bring glory to His name.

Today I rise.