Simplify

There's nothing wrong with a simple life. In fact I'm surprised we don't typically strive for it. It's as if we want to be so unique to the world, so different than the rest that we feel as though a simple life is just not enough. By simple life I don't mean the type of life that is boring by any means. What I mean is... making things simple. Yes, life is full of gray shades but our lives don't have to be dictated by them. I'm pretty sure out of all the strife that I've had to encounter I've learned one main lesson which is; simplify. Simplify it all... life is too precious not to. Spend your time knowing what you want not what you don't. Don't waste your time trying to change someone because chances are you're the one who's going to change in the process... and rarely in a good way. Secondly, and most importantly never compromise. At the end of the day your character is the only thing that speaks for you, not even your words matter... but that which you do, and that which you do portrays what you believe. Life is more than a jumble of incoherent barely understandable philosophies. It's simple.

It's time to grow up for me. It took a recent unpleasant moment to understand. To understand that I am the only one that can be responsible for myself; my own well being. I cannot put my heart into someone else's hands and think they will protect it. I have to protect, it's my lot and in that I cannot afford to be careless. I cannot rely on just anyone to have my best interests at heart. In this I've come to see the kind of love that I pursue, that which is pure in intent... which is kind, patient, trusting, and above all the kind of love that does not jeopardize what I believe in. After all, anything other than this kind of love is not love at all but immature infatuation in my opinion, and yes this is only my opinion... what is the point in dabbling with that? If you have standards then keep them! If you have expectations then don't lose them but emphasize their importance. I've also come to learn another huge lesson: you really do teach people how to treat you. If you can't stand up for yourself and what is healthy for you then you can't expect someone else to do the same. It's so important to surround yourself with people who share your beliefs because you will fall and when you do... you don't want to be in the Lion's Den but instead surrounded by light.

I used to think I was a very patient person. In the last two years I've seen my patience be worn down to nothing due to certain circumstances and I've also seen it recently be overshadowed by my desires; my apparent "needs"... when in reality God knows my heart fully. He knows what I need and sees beyond it all. If I take control of my life His will is not done and why would I not choose His will over my own? I'd be crazy not to.

...so that's my only path and I am willing to forfeit my own will...