Butterflies...

Thanks to Matty and I am happily enjoying this morning with my little bag of essentials for wellness; Airborne, Tylenol, and Chapstick (Burt's Bees if I could just add). Literally, those things mixed with an excessive amount of coffee is creating a rather nice morning. I am still fighting being sick or maybe just worn out but I'm still in a good mood. Tomorrow is my half day so I just gotta stick it out till then. Personally, I think half days are ridiculous... just give me the whole day and we'll call it even. Why should I have to get up at 7am to go to work for 3 hours. I basically pull out my money, sit there... do nothing and then put it back. It's just inefficient. Lol.

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my idea to teach overseas for a period of time. At first I had wanted to move to Europe in order to experience that whole "new" perspective but now I've been thinking... of possibly doing it in S. Korea. I think I really need to research it more for sure but I've been thinking a lot about the way I feel when I am traveling. The sense of independence and reassurance I gain when I am on my summer leaves by myself. I'm reminded every time I take my trips of the vastness of the world and much more then that, I am reminded of how the world does not revolve around me or the everyday nuisances of where I live. The world inspires me to see, to write, to reflect, and most of all to dream big. I miss that. I'm not saying I can't do it sitting right here, it's just sometimes my heart actually yearns for the thrill of change. Looking back on it now I must seem like a kid in a candy store while in the airports. I absolutely love to travel. Everything from spending obscene amounts of time sleeping on airport benches in layovers, taking off my shoes through 3-4 metal detectors, to the smell of cooking airplane food. Ya I love it that much...

I've also been doing a lot of thinking about the topic of happiness and purpose as follows...

We search our entire lives for happiness. Our "pursuit" as it is so often and tritely referred to. I've come to see that happiness is not ever something you can actually reach and then just be settled in. It is continuous and variable...

You can find true happiness in the most mundane of moments, places, and people. You can find happiness in yourself, by yourself, with someone you love... with someone you can't stand. It's beautiful actually. To be honest there is no place in which you could not find happiness of some sort (totally my opinion but I think accurate). My mom said something to me today without even realizing what she had said, "happiness is freedom." I repeated that back to hear to see if she would expand on that in the slightest... and she just said, "yes, freedom." And I couldn't help but think about that. Freedom from what?! And then I realized it's freedom from expectation, from obligation, from pain, and longing... freedom from the past and future, onlookers and bystanders, from desperation and desolation. It's freedom from the world and yet freedom to live in it just as you are. Plain and simple.

Happiness is not about what ANYONE thinks it is but to the person who is envisioning their own state thereof. What I mean is that, moments of true happiness block the world and instead it's the moments when you realize exactly who you are and live within that truth. As if the Earth stops turning, everything around you is nothing in comparison to your bliss, and your heart smiles ♥:) It's joy to the full extent of the word, in fact the word itself can't describe it. Happiness is not one moment, it is not one place that you strive for, it's every day and any moment that you want to make it in. I truly, in my core believe this... happiness is a state of mind and you control it to the utmost. Pretty cool actually...

Think about Quantum Physics for example, the law of attraction... as much as a higher power controls everything day in and day out, we too have more control then we think. We have the power to change a situation, change an emotion, save lives, destroy people, hurt people, make people laugh, and ultimately be happy whenever we want to be :)

Which then brings me to the point of, "why".... one of the many questions we can't help but be bred to ask. Why are we here, why are we with this person, why did this person pass, etc. Why is a useless question to ask because deep down we know why and if we fear we do not, we always know that we will someday know. Wow that was a lot of weird knowing references. Basically, we'll never get exact answers when we want them but having faith that there is an answer somewhere is what's most important. It is said in Ecclesiastes 3:1, "For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven". Exactly... everything, no matter how small has a purpose and time. And again...it's beautiful.