Single & Selective

And it's a damn good thing.

I'm having a hard time lately wrapping my mind around why people tend to rush back into relationships after ending another. I recall my earlier years when I too fell in this category. I remember never being able to stay single, always finding someone new right after ending a relationship, and always needing the comfort of having someone. I knew in my heart it wasn't the right way to be, it took a lot of time and understanding to figure out just why that isn't a good way to be.

Most of us need time in our lives in which we are forced to be alone, to find ourselves, to discover what makes us happy on our own, and eventually feel comfortable in the person we are. It is only then do we find relationships to be mature, strong, beneficial, and ultimately leading to a stable marriage. At least this is my belief. How can one expect to bounce all over the place and find in the midst themselves while trying to understand someone else as well? It's nearly impossible.

Being in a relationship is not just about commitment but also about a deep level of understanding. Understanding who you are, who your partner is, and who you become together. Growing separately yet positively expanding as a unit. It's pretty incredible when you find those couples who really have their relationship on the right track, then again nothing is always what it seems. People change, feelings change, life gets in the way and things happen.

I recently, and I say recently because in my mind three months is rather recent, left a relationship. Within the past three months I was still under the impression and in the mindset of trying to work on things to possibly re-enter the relationship again. However, as I've prayed and felt conflicted I've realized that is not what is meant for me. Going back to the beginning paragraph, I believe that a period of time with my self is best as I find myself still in a mourning period. I guess I'm trying to wrap my mind around how the person I loved for 2 years could move on so quickly. At first taken back and concerned for him I now see that our priorities are at different levels. In my mind, a healthy stance for this moment entails working on myself. For him, he needs "the relationship". Though I too want that comfort I find it hindering to jump right back into the next best thing. Therefore, I will not.

It is important to use both reason and emotions, but not let your impulsiveness get in the way of patience and growth. Sometimes it feels easy to run full force into whatever at the time seems good and exciting, later realizing that perhaps slowing down and thinking through things would have made a better transition.

As I have mentioned in some of my previous entries, I've began to see things different lately. I've stepped back from a few things and also sat still in a few others. One thing that I've learned is that it is better to be patient, strengthen virtue, and understanding... before the things come to you that really are worth the wait. I never want to feel as though I am not maturing in some way and so I choose not to continue my cycle of relationships but instead take every moment as a blessing and as a chance to learn something new.

Single and selective... I like it. It's empowering and smart. I can't afford any other way.