Constant

My words only mimic
the world I really see.
Beauty and tragedy
intertwined, making
me unable to untangle
the truth. Merely
a daze of emotion
and numbness all
in one, taunting
my sanity, destroying
any peace that's left.
I continue to feel the sun's
warmth with constancy,
never changing, it's the only
thing dependable, the
only comfort I am afforded.
In this moment, sitting in my car
an hour early for work,
jotting my notes, withering
away with the choices I've made
I cannot deny I am grateful for this
morning sun but it becomes blatantly
clear that I'll never be
who I thought I always was.