Meaninglessness...

I was just looking back on post blogs that I have written yet they sit lifeless as a draft which I have not posted. I read back through them and deleted some of the mindless chatter of my unorganized brain... and then found one that made me start to think. I started to think about "meaninglessness". A little while back I was frustrated with a few people as I watched them absorb themselves with the meaninglessness of drama, "he said she said", high school immaturity. And also not so long ago I found myself annoyed (it takes a lot for me to become annoyed) by someone who was rushing their life away and pretending to have it all together. Sometimes I think it is truly better to be truthful and honest about your life than to make up the facade that we all too often do. I respect far more greatly the experiences and frame of mind of a person who is aware of their circumstance, who is true to that which they have been blessed.

I know people who seem to think life is a race. They never take a minute to slow down and even in social relationships is void of empathy. Instead it is a game of what is to be gained. The meaningless they are experiencing is an obsession with success. It's crazy to think that success could be meaningless but it is the type of success that is merely to make others feel less successful or intelligent. It is as if being able to hold their head up above all others with a stiff chin is necessary to get somewhere in life. I think there is a way to reach success while still lifting others up instead of hoping they are left in the dust... maybe it's maturity, maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's envy... who knows. In any case I start to wonder about how I see the world, and if I'm making the most of my own experiences. I can only hope that I look at the world with open and loving eyes.

I also know people who are lost in the meaningless as well. But instead of being infatuated with the world of professional and intellectual success is in fact confined by their infatuation with finding someone to love them. I feel sadness when I think of this situation and I cannot completely understand it either. I know how it feels to be "not loved" and I know what it feels like to be desperate but I do know what it is like to learn from your mistakes. I think that avoiding to learn from mistakes is a human error in judgement and extreme cases just plain ignorance. I want to yank this people up from the floor, grasp their face and tell them they are worth more. They yearn so badly to find affection and love that they give up themselves completely. I am lucky to have found someone who cares for me but even if I were to be single I couldn't imagine compromising myself.

There are literally so many issues facing the world and all of us within it. I wonder how I will be a successful therapist when there is so much left not understood or misunderstood. But I guess I've come to realize that it's not about trying to understand it all because it is impossible. What it is about is accepting all, loving all, encouraging all.